A Preferred Reading List
of Little Known New Age Literature
Irreverently Written and Composed
by Joseph Jochmans

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  • The Aquarium Gospels of Jacques the Cousteau, by Levi and Strauss

  • The Opening of the Clown Chakra, by Swami Farbeyondananda

  • The New and Used Testaments, including the Gossip According to Saint Germane

  • Canceling Psychic Predictions Due to Unforeseen Circumstances, by Jeanne Mason-Dixon

  • Biofeedback Prevention...Overcoming Peace of Mind, by the Out-of-Brain / Mind Bull-etin

  • Karma Krunchies...Reaching into the Bag of Life and Pulling Out the Same Chip, by Miso Frito Ley-Line

  • There's a Sucker "Born Again" Every Minute, by P. T. Falwell

  • Out on a Lamb...Prancing in the Blinding Light, by Surly Big Mac Lain

  • Ramparktha...Story of a 35,000 Year Old Hindu God Who Discovered Hollywood, by Kray Z Fly-by-Knight

  • Pharoah-Bics...Exercising Your Way to Mummification, by Jane Fonda Farewell

  • Atlantis and Lemuria...How to Make Fast Money in Real Estate, by Rudolf the Red-Nosed Steiner

  • The Ten Absolutes to Spiritual Freedom...Finding your God in Someone Else, by Swami Kissmyananda

  • The Egyptian Book of Dead Jokes, by Pharoah Hohohotep of the 16th Dynasty rerun, translated by E. A. Wallet Bulge

  • Silver Cord Extensions for Long Distance Astral Travel, by C. W. Bedwetter

  • Everybody Needs Samadhi Sometime, by Paramahanna Yogananda Parlen-voua?

  • Master Cute Humi Speaks on the Obssene Gospels, by Elizabeth Cleared Profit

  • Readings From the Ashkanic Records, The Great Circular Files of the Etheric Planes, by H. P. Bladdervatsky

  • Nirvana Nervosa...Dieting to Higher Consciousness, by Oedipus Anerexia

  • Foot Refriedology...Healing Through Fire-Walk Massage, by Dr. Tredsoftly

  • The Perishables of Christ, by Torkum Serendipity

  • New Age Video Games, by Avatari, including: Tarot Pac-Man, Donkey-Tai Chi and Battlestar EST

  • The Midget Psychic Who Escaped from Prison, by a Small Medium at Large

  • The Maple Leaf Raga, by Scott Ravi Shankar Joplin

  • Past Life Savings and Loans, by Rajneesh Baksheesh

  • Training Seeing Third-Eye Dogs for the Psychically Blind, by Alistaire Growley of the Old and Drawn Society

  • Let Us Hold Hands and Contact the Living, by Sybil Sleek

  • Black Money-Belt Karate and Acu-Punching, by Mohammed Ali Babaji

  • I Never Metaphysics I Didn't Like, by Hello Dali Lama

  • Cosmic Unconsciousness...When The Lights Are On But Nobody's Home, by Dione Misfortune

  • Here Today, Sodom Gomorrah, by Billy Graham Bell

  • Uranus Rising to Full Moon...Hindsight Astrology Exposed, by Great Dane Rude-Year

  • The Book of the Whoopi...Take Two Medicine Wheels and Call Me in the Morning, by Rolling Sun and Bear Thunder

  • The Pearl of Great Price, Now on Sale at Great Savings, by Bringham Young and his All Wife Band

  • Silver Dollar Mind Control, by Jose Hi Ho Silva

  • Death Before Dying...Crossing the River Styx Without a Paddle, by Elizabeth Kublai-Khan-Ross

  • Beyond Fire Walking...Huna Lava Surfing, by Maximum Freedom Short

  • New Age Hypno-Therapy...Does the Name Pavlov Ring a Bell?, by Sigmund Jung Supthen

  • Drop-Ins and Walk-Outs...Seeking an In-the-Body Experience, by Ruth Montgomery Ward and Carol Perished-Hurrah

  • The Bigfat-Gita...Sacred Hindu Texts of Krishna's Teachings in Brooklyn

  • Tibetan Break-Jogging and the Shamballa Kabala, by T. Hopalong Rampa

  • The Excedrin Headache #5 of Oversoul #7, by Jane Oral Roberts

  • Your Taurus Horroscope...Between the Horns of Dilemma is a Lot of Bull, by Zolar Dollar Sun Signs

  • You Take My Wife, Pleiades...A Close Encounter of the Not-Too-Sirius King, by Spaced Brother Hilarius of the Ozone Ranger Command

  • Solar Initiations of the Third Ray on the Sixth Floor of the One Hundred and Twenty-Eighth Street Building, Suite 46A, by Alice Cooper Bailey and the Lucid Trust Me

  • Bonehenge Decoded and the Deja Vu Over Atlantis...Dowsing for Waylaid-Lines and Hibernating Druids, by John Michellob

  • HaHa Yoga...Life's a Joke and You're the Punchline, by Swami Pollyannananda

  • Secrets of the Keystone Coptic Brotherhood, by Hermes Tre-me-get-the-gift-of-this, Master of Rockti Shakti Crystal Power and the Ephemeral Tablets

  • I Think, Therefore I Ching, the Chinese Book of Small Change, by Tau Jones Industrials

  • Opening the Third Ear...Listening to People Talk Behind Your Back, by Vera Stanley Livingston Idler

  • Disintegrated Awareness Techniques...Developing Your Telepathic Powers, by Connie Issac Wayne Fig Newton

  • The Teachings of Don in the John, by Careless Castenetta

  • Hare-Back...Initiations of a Young Egyptian in the Left Ear of the Sphinx, by Isha Swallow de Lubejob

  • Om, Om on the Range...Spectrum Sweet From Inside Mount Everest, by Steve Halpert and the Tibetan Brass

  • Agony Yoga and the Kundalini Kick...Getting the Cosmic Boot in the Root, by Sr. Bindu Spinefire, certified Cairo-practor and Gyne-Numer-Irid-ologist

  • Life and Teachings of the Mistresses of the Wild West, by Swami Crayolananda

  • Meditation While you Sleep...Manifesting Your Realities Into Dreams, by Guru Sigh Baba Gnu

  • The Grossly Overpriced Oversized Enclyclopedia of Crushedrosian, Hermetically-Sealed, Freemasonjarian, Alcomical and Pithygorean Esoteric Wisdom, by Mainly Pied Hall

  • A Course in Miracle Whip...Manifesting Salad State Consciousness, by Judith Skutch Tape

  • Karmic Alimony...The Dangers of Past Wife Regression, by Bounty on the Mutiny

  • The Recalcitrant Messiah, God Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnibored, by Richard J. S. Botched

  • The Spiritual Warrior Gone Berserk...Placing Your Etheric Phasers on Slaughter, by the Beige Brotherhood

  • Carwash of the Gods...Evidence of Extraterrestrial Tourism, by Karmapa and Erich von Manniken

  • The Hundredth Retelling of the Hundredth Monkey Story, by Kenneth Keyholes

  • The Prophet Hobbit...Lord of the Wringed Poetry, by Killed Cliche Gibran Tolkein

  • Megaton Vitamins and Microbionic Cooking...Fifty Thousand Flies Can't Be Wrong, by Dr. Asa Rol

  • The Secrets of Flounderhorn...Talks With the Kleenex Devas, by Peter and Eileen Caddyshack

  • My Night in the Egyptian Hall of Records Without a Record Player, by Dr. Appalled Blunton

  • Edgar Cantsee...The Sleeping Profit Margin, by Jest Astern

  • Secret of the Great Pyramid...Built with Tofu Blocks and Tahini Sauce, by Peter Tombkins

  • Teachings of the Great Off-White Brotherhood, by Annie Oakly Besant

  • The Not-So-Great Planet Earth...Therapy Ward for the Universe, by Lind Halsey

  • Hari Kari for the New Age, or How To OD on Enditol, by Swami Mai TymesUp

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©  Copyright 1985, by Joseph Jochmans, the Happy Hierophant,
with permission to reprint whenever needed to Lighten Up the Light.

HE WHO LAUGHS, LASTS!

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